I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Randomize
