Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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