So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
