if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
