I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
