he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
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