I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
