It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
