help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
