Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Also, beer. Big fan.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
