no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
