don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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