South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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