hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Randomize
