you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
