but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
