And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
