I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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