You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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