i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
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