If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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