i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
