Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
