Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
