I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
We are all done wearing pants today
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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