So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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