hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
