So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
