There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Randomize
