Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
