dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
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