you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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