my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
