woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
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