Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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