My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
