I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
