she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Randomize
