can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Randomize
