Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
