at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
