Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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