Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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