Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Randomize
