All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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