She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
