I wanna bring you to show and tell
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
