And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
