I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
