Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
